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Because nonverbal messages can be ambiguous, they are open to misinterpretation. Have you ever been wrong about the meaning of someone’s nonverbal message? Describe what happened. How can people increase the accuracy with which they interpret nonverbal messages?
Sarah Trenholm argues, “Responsiveness, the degree to which we are psychologically involved in an interaction, is shown by such cues as rate and volume of speech, amount of gesture, and variability of facial display. Someone who responds to us in a monotone, staring straight ahead with a dull, expressionless look, is indicating low involvement and low responsiveness…Nonverbal communication gives us a clear picture where we stand” (Trenholm 2008, p. 112).
Yes, I was wrong about the meaning of a gentlemen’s nonverbal message, I sat next to on the Eurostar (Chunnel) from Waterloo, London to Gare du Nord, Paris. I took a one day trip from Paris to London. On my way home, I found my cabin, and proceeded to look for my seat. When I got to my seat number, I noticed a gentleman taking off his coat, putting away his briefcase, so I asked him if his seat was the window or the aisle. He looked at me and just grunted and pointed the window with a expressionless look. So I said to myself, “Boy this is going to be 4 long hours back to Paris.” Once the train started, I put on my iPod nano and took out my Blackberry and began answering and cleaning up my emails. Within a few seconds, Francois (not his real name), leaned over and said to me, “Excuse moi, is that for your business?” I said, yes and the rest was history. We chatted for four hours. Francois is a Physicist who lives in Paris and works in London at an Aerospace company. I asked him about his favorite restaurants (I ate at 3 of them----delicious), music shop to buy French music, places to see, and tips and tricks. He was headed to Nice for the holidays (our Memorial Day weekend) to swim in the ocean.
How can people increase the accuracy with which they interpret nonverbal messages? The multiple codes must work together to get an accurate outcome or confusion will occur.
Hi Paris--
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your example of the time when you misread someone's nonverbal message. It reminds me when I was in the 6th grade and how boys were always on my mind. I would see boys smile at me and automatically, I would think that they liked me. I would go in their direction and try talking to them. When i would try and talk to them, they would just look at me like I was a freak or something. I agree with you when you say the multiple codes must work together in order for an accurate conclusion. However, chemistry I believe is also needed.
I really like your post and I think its funny how sometimes we immediately write someone off if our first nonverbal impression of them is bad. Imagine if you hadn't been forced to sit next to him. He never would have gotten the chance to redeem himself and strike up a conversation with you. I think people often send out bad nonverbal messages when they are uncomfortable or caught off guard. That is why it is so important that nonverbal communication be followed up with verbal communication. It is really the only way to make sure the message is completely understood. Once the French guy spoke to you you realized that he was not all that bad. If he hadn't have said anything you probably would have just assumed he was a grouch for the whole trip.
ReplyDeleteGoober and CGH,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments to my posts this week.
Ciao,
Paris